Sex Skills

To indicate a stark change from an ordinary kick-a-about to swaggering showboating, resulting from the unexpected presence of female spectators during a game of football.

Involves teenage boys between the ages of 12-18 going from a jovial game of heads and volleys to Cruyff turns, Beckham-esque curling free kicks, aggressive diving headers, Roy Keane/Alf-Inge Haaland slide tackling, completely unnecessary keepie-uppie and never passing the ball - in a vain attempt to attract the female spectator.

Originated in Lincolnshire circa 2000.

Ben - "We were having a decent game and then the Year Ten girls arrived..."

Beeda - "...so Macca turned to sex skills?"

sex skills

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Got Big

To indicate a fart that unexpectedly deviates into a poo.

Taken from cricketing terminology, referencing a delivery which unpredictably bounces higher than expected at the last minute, often striking the batsmen in the ribs or head.

Often requires the decommissioning and disposal of underwear after the event. Originated on a Nation Express coach, Junction 34 - Lancaster.

mate, i'm in a mess! That fart got big on me

36👍 7👎

Joyboy

A young European (mostly Dutch) party-animal.

Usually between the ages of 16-23. Will be clearly distinguishable wearing loud Hawaiian shorts, chequered Vans sneakers, a slanted Marvel-Action-Comic-design cap and florescent Ray-Ban’s.

Often spotted boarding European Interail trains with bad hangovers, or being thrown out of cheap hostels in the early hours.

Constantly seeking out a party; unafraid to approach you as a complete stranger and enquire – “Hey, where-zu paurty?!”

Will drink and/or consume narcotics beyond the point of reason.

joyboy

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Moseley Leisure Pirate

A nauseating, skinny-jean, faux leather jacket, beanie wearing 'trendy' from the Moseley area of Birmingham, UK. Similar in appearance and behaviour to their London counterparts: the Camden Leisure Pirates.

Famed for Facebook profile pouting, irreverent devil-may-care staring into the middle distance and constant 'status updates'.

Contempt for his fellow man often written across face.

Do not attempt to slalom through a group of them in a busy Fighting Cocks, because the arrogant wank stains won't move due to being engrossed in using the word "random" in conversation; so you'll end spilling your pint down yourself.

Generally hated by the Moseley 'norms'.

moseley leisure pirate camden leisure pirate russell brand

33👍 4👎

Bumrush

The sudden, unexpected urge to poo after taking the first few drags of a cigarette.

(Sparks up) "ooo, bumrush!"

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Slab

The lower part of a females back, displayed when wearing a crop-top.

The area of the body used to locate a tramp-stamp.

Bob - "She's a nice sort!"
Matt - "Cracking Slab!"

Slab

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Gripping

The process of finding eroticism in the more innocent every-day relationship intimacies of others, for example couples kissing or holding hands or sharing a joke.

Specifically, Gripping is the action of masturbating over these moments. The person is henceforth known as a 'Gripper'.

Incidents of Gripping increase during particularly prolonged barren spells, without sexual contract from another human being.

This term 'Gripper' is particularly offensive to Worcestershire-based woodwork teachers.

Pam and Trevor's wedding was tarnished by Teddy "Gripping" thoroughout the service.

Oi - wanker!.... Who called me Gripper!?

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