ass-fiasco

After having an assplosion or giving birth to a huge turd baby, you reach round to wipe yourself, but find there is not enough toilet paper in the world to clean up the mess which seems to have traveled EVERYWHERE and you are stranded for what seems to be eternity in the 13th ring of hell trying to clean up, but your efforts are fruitless and you have to shower.

I had an ass-fiasco on my hands........literally......

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Christmachanukwanzicus

A multicultural, completely made up holiday celebration to appease politically correct nazis who demand we water down everything to fit into a generic mold of mediocrity, sucking the meaning out of everything and neutering our individuality.

"Merry Christmas!" shouted Abe

"Happy Chanukah! replied Salvatore
"No, No...Happy Christmachanukwanzicus!" insisted Libby the Liberal
"Oh shut the fuck up !" retorted Abe and Sal.

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Schomit

The act of shitting and vomiting at the same time on the Sabbath.

George: "oi Moishe, the gefilte fish must have been bad....I'm gonna Schomit!"
Moishe: "oi George, lemme hold your yarmulke...you don't want to get it dirty"