lighter probation

noun -
1. a sentence imposed by a smoker court whereby the lighter thief is monitored for a period of time following the offense.
2. when bumming a smoke, common among those sentenced, the individual is supervised until they have returned the borrowed lighter.
3. When bumming a light, after 30 seconds any smoker present may yank the lighter away from the offender and return it to the lender.
4. Probation sentence can be commuted if the offender buys the individual wronged a new lighter.

Last week Jennifer stole my lighter for the third time this year; she's on lighter probation for the next two months.

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Hipster Aesthetic

noun - 1. a member of the contemporary counterculture who suffers through mediocrity for the sake of cool.

2. a secular monk serving the gods of consumerism, worshiping american idolatry
3. one who assumes a vow of ironic poverty

The LCD Soundsystem concert was visually enticing, but Simon caught many an eye for exhibiting the crowd's cultural ideal, for Simon was a hipster aesthetic.

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