Gasping for Breath

When you drop a long-ass shit -- so long, that the tapered head sticks out of the water and then is reluctant to go all the way down right away when you flush.

Tom: Dick, look at the long-ass shit I just dropped. (Flush --)

Dick: It won't go all the way down -- it's gasping for breath.

10👍 7👎

Raccoon in the Attic

You are doing a chick from behind. Then, you cum in her asshole. Then, you stick your pinkie finger into her cummy-shitty asshole. Then, you give her a *wet-willy* with your cummy-shitty finger.

Tom: Why is Sheila runnin' around with cum and shit comin' out of her ear?

Dick: Harry just gave her a raccoon in the attic.

21👍 6👎