hatrophy

The slow but inevitable movement of favoured headgear to your friend/girlfriend/kids

No, you can't borrow my fleece, I'm still recovering from serious hatrophy because of you

hatastrophe

Walking into a store (Asda, today) and impulse buying a stylish beanie without trying it on (in case it made me look a dick) only to get outside, try it on in the car and realise that I looked a dick, but £5 lighter.

I had a hatastrophe at the Wal Marts today; i could have spent that fiver on scratch cards and not looked such a dick.

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