myspace

A soul sucking social networking site, watched over by the all-knowing Dashboard Confessional loving overlord Tom. It has taken over bands and comedians, and occasionally causes an empty-headed push-up bra clad blond teenage girl to be kidnapped and murdered by a balding 40-something pervert.

It turns the common person into a predetorial animal, causing them to see who can get the most friends and pits ally against ally when one is removed or moved down a spot on their Top 8.

I visit Myspace five times a day, even when I know I don't have any new messages or comments.

Someone with a life: Dude, Tom is just a bot.
Random myspace-crazed teenager: ZOMG STFU TOM IS REAL!!

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