Turtle Belt

An elastic band (or other improvised object) used to close off the end of an uncircumcised penis at the point of ejaculation in order to quickly and cleanly move from your location.

I had to grab a turtle belt and run to the bathroom so I didn't stain the new couch.

Closet Cunt

A person (of any sex/gender) who seems like a fun, outgoing, socially acceptable person when in a group situation and with acquaintances. However when you get to know this person it becomes clear they are an insufferable cunt.

I know Janet's husband seems like a fun dude at company parties but when you get to know him you see he's a real CLOSET CUNT.