Splenunculasm

The overwhelming feeling of ecstasy associated with finding out you have a splenunculus (an extra spleen). Very similar in experience to a powerful orgasm.

Colette: “I feel amazing after that scan result”
Louise: “Did you just find out you have an extra spleen?”
Colette: “I’ve just had a splenunculasm! Have you got a spare pair of panties?”

Toowoomba

A verb to describe when something is just far too much. Officially recognised by Siri as an autocorrect option for the phrase “too much”. Also a small town in Australia which has a number of enjoyable tourist attractions.

Example 1:
Collette: Have you seen my new baby puppy Dolly? She’s got ridiculous little pink paws.
Louise: That’s too much!!!
Collette: Toowoomba!
Louise: What?
Collette: My phone always autocorrects to that, it’s too much!

Example 2:
Abeer: How was your weekend?
Gabe: It was sweet, non-stop part-ay down my endz and I LITERALLY did not stop banging bitches...
Abeer: You know that sounds Toowoomba actually!
Gabe: Your mum is Toowoomba!
Abeer: Mate... Not cool.

Splenunculism

A belief that one must have more than a single spleen. The largest group of splenunculists in general prefer a single accessory spleen.

“Have you heard about Gary joining that cult?”
“Yeah they practice splenunculism, he keeps asking for people to donate bits of their spleens to him, it’s really weird”

Traffic Cone

A plastic cone, usually orange, with a wide flared base which is used to divert traffic on roads when maintenance work is being carried out.

With both practice and judicious lubrication a traffic cone can also be used as an anal dildo by sitting all the way down on one. Unfortunately due to the curled edge most traffic cones have at their top end, there is a risk of them becoming lodged in the anal canal.

Abeer: “Have you heard the news about my favourite rapper T Pain?”
Gabe: “Yeah he sat down on a traffic cone and needed surgery when it got stuck!”
Abeer: “I heard he’s changed his name to T Cone for his newest album”

Clap for Carers

A phrase used when wanting to signal to another person you wish to engage in sexual intercourse with them. Popularised after the large number of couples which got together during the ‘Clap for Carers’ campaign during the UK lockdown. Similar to Netflix and chill but with the added thrill of the possibility you all die of covid-19.

Sophie: “Is that your sister that visited?”
Bez: “Nah it’s the new missus”
Sophie: “How did you meet?”
Bez: “I asked if she wanted to Clap for Carers and she came in and I gave it to her up the wrongun”
Sophie: “Is that why you’re struggling to breathe now?”
Bez: *cough*