Bass

The instrument played by the member of the band who is the second least attractive and can only crow about the quality of groupies they defile to the drummer, who traditionally can only get the kind of beasts even farmers reject.

Roadie 1: "Have you seen the girl the bass player was taking back to the tour bus? Isn't the drummer in there too?"
Roadie 2: "That was a girl? Jeez, what the hell did the drummer pull then?"
Drummer: "Does anyone have the number of a good vet? There's been an accident."