fanaconda

Fanacondas are the rolled up boys of toilet roll you find when going down town on your lady ..... other wise known as fanny worms ... fanacondas are much bigger ... enough to wrap itself around the gentleman in question and proceed to take him down town himself

For example she had Fanny worms like fanacondas .....

I went down on her and was nearly dragged inside her when I was constricted by a large group of fanacondas

Or Fuck me chaps you couldn't see the hole for fanacondas

Twat Mallet

A large vibrator ....that. looks like a microphone 🎤..... AKA a wand

Whe you see a used vibrator on Facebook marketplace that claims it's brand new , but you can just tell its been hammered you can exclaim " that's a well used twat mallet "