vegan

A euphemism for a person who has no connection to reality due to the luxuries that 21st century first-world living has afforded him/her. Such a person is so detached from the order of the world that they seem to forget a lion would eat them without giving two shits about it. A common delusion of a vegan is that their obsession with abstaining from animal products is actually a form of compassion and love. My studies have shown this behavior to be no more than an ego boost to compensate for other areas in which they are inevitably exploiting and pillaging the earth's resources just like everyone else. Ultimately "veganism" is a psychological complex that confuses an egoistic idea with the natural order of the world.

(Two L.A. vegans at brunch)

Cindy: Oh my god, Doug, I feel so much better about myself for being a vegan!

Doug: That's the whole point, right?

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