baltimore COUNTY

A county north of the city of Bawltimer that is completely useless except for its reputation as a "hotbed" of lacrosse and the annual Hunt Cup. The kids there think they have money, but that's only because they've only been exposed to Bawltimer city and county. When they grow up they get exposure to NYC and they see they're really just either white trash who's daddy couldn't hack it on Wall Street so he took a job at LeggMason, or they're the ugly jews who were ostracized in New York City so they had to come to Bawltimer to fit in.

An LSAT analogy... "BABYLON is to LEPER COLONY as MANHATTAN is to BALTIMORE COUNTY"

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Severna Park

A poor man's Laguna Beach. It's a pretty nice place to live; a nice family town on a really nice river. It's an all-white, preppy, conservative haven. Michael Jordan almost moved there. Pat Sajak does. The Bawltimer Ravens owner lives here and graduated from SPHS. That brings up the worst thing about SP - It's a suburb of Bawltimer.

So, unfortunately for the kids that grow up there, even though they think it's the hottest place ever, it's far, far from being the ultimate rich white la-la-land that they would have you believe. To say that it pales in comparison to Beverly Hills, Laguna Beach, Highland Park (Dallas), Greenwich, Westchester, etc. is a gross understatement.

But, hey, if you've been sentenced to life in Bawltimer, then Severna Park is the best place to be. Sorry, but Bawltimer County is WAY too Jewish. ;)

Hott pretty blonde girl from SP - "Like, I totally live in the kitschyest place in the world"

Me - "No way, I'm from Beverly Hills too"

Hott preppy blonde girl from SP - "Umm, no sorry, but I was like talking about Severna Park?"

Me - "Has anyone ever told you that you'd look absolutely amazing on camera?"

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