mark lawrenceson

Ex footballer and football pundit/commentator for the BBC's Match of the Day. Born 9th June 1962 on a ferry crossing the River Mersey. Won shit loads with Liverpool FC during the 70s and 80s but nothing with the rep of Ireland or northern Ireland. It came to light in 1990 that his father Dougal was a submarine captain in the Irish navy during world war 2 and that he had torpedoed the Bismark and sank it (sunday sport). His Mother Mary was rumoured to be the inspiration for Paul McCartneys song Let it be. Other than that the guy's a totally opinionated cock who knows fuck all about anything apart from dodgy thatched cottage type hair styles, telling crap jokes and manlove fantasies about Gary Lineker

Gary Lineker " Lets go over live to the emirates stadium with our commentators John Motson and that twat Mark Lawrenceson"
John Motson " Thanks Gary, the crowd are really fired up for this one today "
Mark Lawrenceson " Yes Motty I think its gunner be a good one...ha ha ha "
John Motson " for fuck sake Lawro take the fucking day off "
Mark Lawrenceson " ha ha ha ....gunner be good....ha ha ha"

20👍 10👎

fagnolia

The nicotine creamy yellow colour found on the ceilings and walls where heavy (smokers) dwell

Darren eyes scanned through the Dulux colour card, was this some sort of trick he thought to himself, theres no such colour as fagnolia!

On entering the villians lair, the stale smell of nicotine and the subtle hint of fagnolia on the ceiling Holmes came to one conclusion, Moriarti was a heavy smoker with a perchant little boys and puppies

12👍 4👎

Juande Ramos

The son of a whore, someone who plays with shit.

the wanky tottenham hotspur went to Rome to see the Pope,
the wanky tottenham hotspur went to Rome to see the Pope,
the wanky tottenham hotspur went to Rome to see the Pope and this is what he said fuck off....Who's that team they call the Arsenal? Who's that team they all adore? they're the team in red and white and they're fucking dynamite and Juande Ramos's mother is a whore...she's a whore

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game of freckles

A drinking game played by very drunk squaddies in one of them shits into a sock then players gather around a table and rest their chins on the edge of it, the sock is beaten on the centre of the table by the shitwhacker 10 times. The winner is the player with the most "freckles" on their face.

" I need a shit....fancy a game of freckles "
" fuck off you sick bastard....ask me in 10 beers time "

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goody

A stupid inbred who has nothing going for her

To talk without engaging your brain

To express an opinion on a subject you know fuck all about

To be a total fuckwit

To become famous purely by being annoyingly stupid

Also see Kerry Katona 5ive Jordan Peter Andre

knock knock....who's there....Jade Goody....Jade Goody who?
well...thats show business

" Indians are thin cos they can't cook properly....Oh my god you can see me kebab" from How the fuck did I get famous by Jade Goody

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Ringback

A footballer or other person in the public domain who fucks around behind his wifes/fiancees back and gets caught doing so. also see Ashley Cole Teddy Sheringham

"Howay man, I can't believe you've thrown away our marraige for the sake of a cheap slapper, heres your ringback...I'm off to LA"

5👍 3👎

orange frog

A zippy

To croak like an orange frog: To try to stop yourself from vomitting by putting your hand over your mouth.

" I think I'm gonna be si Mmmm Mmmm Mmmm "
" Look out he's croaking like an orange frog "

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