packet of three

UK term for a standard retail package containing three condoms.

"Nothing I can get you, ma'am? Tea? Coffee? Packet of three..?" - Rimmer, Red Dwarf

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I ATEN'T DED

Literally, "I ain't dead." A declaration of one's alive status, often used by bloggers and members of online communities who haven't been - or won't be - heard from for a while.

Originated in the comic fantasy "Discworld" books by Terry Pratchett, in which elderly witch Granny Weatherwax wears a scrawled "I ATEN'T DED" sign while having out-of-body experiences, to prevent passersby from getting the wrong idea and burying her.

I ATEN'T DED guys, I've just been at my auntie's house for a week and her Internet is crap. What'd I miss?

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motorscooter

A non-obscene way to say motherfucker.

Features in "Human Tornado," the title song to the 1975 blaxploitation film "Dolemite," sung by Rudy Ray Moore as the badass pimp title character.

Usually used in a flattering/respectful rather than insulting sense, such as "bad motorscooter" in place of bad motherfucker.

"I've been known to rise up / Sooner or later / I'm a bad motorscooter / I'm the Human Tornado" - Rudy Ray Moore as Dolemite

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ganef

A Yiddish insult meaning a thief, con man, or other such unscrupulous and untrustworthy character looking to conduct a scam, ripoff, or similar evil and dishonest method of personal gain.

The word is an insult. A ganef wouldn't generally call himself a ganef, no matter how proud of himself he was, but he might be angrily called a ganef by his victim.

Bernie Madoff convinced me to put my life's savings into his ponzi scheme. That no-good ganef cost me everything!