One less beer than a proper dozen. This allows any good drunkard to drink one beer from a 12-pack and still show up to the party, guilt-free. This will not keep his mates from resenting him, however.
"That cheap dick, Roger, showed up with a drunkard's dozen. 11 beers: Some fucking birthday present."
5π 1π
The act of pushing one's face between the space where testicles meet scrotum and swinging one's head from side to side very rapidly while making a vigorous, lip-vibrating "brbrbr" sound.
I knew it was true love when he gave me a motorscrote. The top of my balls are still numb!
1π 1π
1. Having any combination of bodily byproducts in one's pants yet doing nothing about it.
"I sharted in the staff meeting but my wife has the car so I'm rollin' squinchy until lunch."
"You made me pee a little bit when you told me you were a man. I'm too lazy to go home for a pee spot, I'll just roll squinchy until it dries."
3π 3π
Philosophy of Nerd thought experiment in which the following is asked:
If you shat out a perfect cheeseburger, not made of shit, but an honest to god cheeseburger, would you eat it?
The only wrong answer to the question is the refusal to answer it.
1. "I asked my doctor about the Cheeseburger Conundrum and he said he'd only do it if he could get an enema first."
4π 1π
The tingling sensation in the abdomen which accompanies an erection born of deep desire and lust.
I got all bonerqueasy as soon as I saw that her robot collection was bigger than mine.
A scenario in which a person should be excited for the weekend but is not. This usually carries throughout the weekend, resulting in a really boring, listless and ultimately pointless two days off.
I ate my shredded wheat with Future Spoon, had a cup of coffee, watched a couple Hobo With a Shotgun trailers and heard The Final Countdown on the way to work today. Still not feeling it. I guess it's going to be an ennuikend.
4π 1π
A Philosophy of Nerd thought experiment in which the subject is asked the following:
If you had the powers of Jamie Madrox, a.k.a. Multiple Man, would you fuck yourself? Subquestion: Would it be gay or masturbating?
The only wrong answer to the question is the refusal to answer it.
1. I thought I really had something with Sarah but she totally failed the Madrox Enigma.
2. "Did you get the job?"
"Damn skippy. I knew once they asked me to address the Madrox Enigma I was golden."
6π 4π