me-some

Masturbation. Instead of a three-some, you have a "me-some".

The MFM couple stood me up, so it looks like I'll be at home having a me-some instead.

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me-way

Another term for masturbation. Instead of a three-way, you have a "me-way".

That chick is so ugly I'd rather just grab the lotion and have a me-way.