Mattress Bearing Bitch

A girl that has a lot of sex. Hooker. Lady of the night. Slut.

Guy 1: Wow look at that girl, she looks so hot in that short skirt with the fuck-me pumps on. I want to go get her number.
Guy 2: Stay away man, can't you tell she's a "Mattress Bearing Bitch"! If you get jiggy wit it she gonna give you the gift that keeps on givin. Your crank is will end up looking like a piece of coral and fall off.

Cake and Cock and We're Fresh out of Cake

What do you say when your girl asks "What's for Dinner"?
When really all you want is a blow job.

* Wife calls Husband and says "Honey, whats for dinner?"

* Man replies "Cake and Cock and we're Fresh out of Cake"

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fell of the roof

That time of the month

omg Aguanetta , I just fell of the roof and I have really bad cramps...I'm not going to make the bukkakefest tonight.

killing white mice

Inserting a tampon and the string looks like a mouses tail hanging out of her vagina.

omg, my girlfriend is such moody bitch right now, she must be killing white mice.