Lap Dogs

Very large, often enormous natural boobies, that upon releasing from the bra sustaining them fall in the lap of their owner. Although they are similar to funbags and sweatercows, they are usually distinctly larger and may share a unique purpose.

Lap dogs may be used to:

a. Keep one's lap warm on those cold winter nights.
b. A pillow.(when tossed over one's shoulder)
c. Musical instruments. When lifted up and allowed to slap down on the dinner table. Can be used in a dinner time orchestra along with the silverware drums and wine glass whistling.
d. Weapons.(simply release and rotate torso, preferably with the enemy's face at chest level; when you here "SLAAAP!!!" followed by a thud the maneuver has been performed successfully.
e. Motorboating. (Hey maybe it's not unique, but who could resist?)

1. Hey Natalia, I'm tired and there's no pillows on this couch. Could you lend me one of your lap dogs?

2. Listen Susie, I'm trying to make serious music here. Forget more cowbell, I wanna here more lap dogs or I'm kicking you out the band!

43👍 76👎