Ann Coulter

From Middle English: Annye (being warm and smooth) Coullentre (having vile or rank-smelling appendages).

A mythical hosebeast from ancient Saxon folklore, the "Ann Coulter" was said to be the offspring of Satan and a Viking queen named Hildastank II. She would appear unsolicited in the homes of poor families around the English countryside, raiding the fridge and offering no "thank-you" in return. The Ann Coulter was believed to carry a fannypack containing any number of Coldplay albums, Miley Cyrus DVDs, and other dirty bombs. She was known as "The Ruiner," for her proclivity to lay waste to entire civilizations, whilst leaving an "upper-decker" in the second story lav.

QUESTION: Dude, what the fuck? You're mom is lying dead on the kitchen floor, there's a pregnant cow in the living room, and you have a bottle of Barton's vodka shoved up your asshole base first. What the fuck happened here?

ANSWER: Ann Coulter brah, Ann Coulter.

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