Squirrel

Evil forest creatures that decide to run like fucking retards across the fucking road while you try to change the radio station. They make your car skid off the road and you hit a yard full of little kids playing pattycake and get blood all over your new body kit.

Man|"Your honor those fucking squirrels made my car skid of the road and kill those kids. I didn't mean to! FUCK SQUIRRELS!!!"
Judge|"Shut the fuck up you fucking crazy nutbag. Squirrels can't make you run off the road and kill 32 defenseless fucking douche ba.. i mean darling children!"
Man|"But why would i want to get blood all over my new body kit?"
Judge|"True dat. Okay you innocent."
Man|"OOOOOOOWWWEEEE! O SNAP! I don't have that many friends!"
Judge|"WTF?!? Never mind your fucking nuts. GUIL-TAY!"

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