Jehovah's Witnesses

The 144k sequestered Witnesses testifying in the longest trial in history. They're not supposed to talk about the trial but can't help themselves and won't shut up about it. At the kangaroo courthouse the defense will Cross-examine the hostile Witnesses and then call the Methodists to the stand to discredit all of Jehovah's Witnesses. Whether Kato Kailin is to testify is still uncertain, nonetheless, the trial is expected to wrap up around the year 3030 with Judgement Day sometime in April, however the JW legal team will almost certainly appeal the decision and demand a re-trial.

Headline: "Christmas Cancelled Again!! Persecution to call Jehovah's Witness #133,411 next week." also: "Jehovah's Witnesses Watchtower leaflet discovered in chambers - Judge Judy to Step Down"

In Other News: "Muslim Jihadi explodes onto the scene, siezes the lead in the race to heaven - #144,001 enters Pearly Gates as Donny & Marie's bicycles are damaged by mysterious bombing excommunicating them out of the race - Utah outraged."

Politics Today: "Burning Bush singes eyebrows during pagan oil and fire ritual and false idol worship of wealth and power"

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