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a socially inept retarted sex pest who generally stumbles through life like a drunken wizard who has no magical powers and by definition only has one eye.
the majority of patches also known as brettz tend to display an odd fettish for the sexual act of leg kissing.
A patch will often be oblivious to rejection from any female companion and regardless of being an ugly one eyed muppet and will still mistakenly believe they are a real catch, when in reality most homo sapiens would rather catch ebola than a patch.
a Bretts natural habitat tends to be a smallwood suttonhill.
brett: i swear babe she was kissing and cuddling me she had white french knickers on ask aled
Leanne: shut up u liar you are talking mumbo jumbo, stop being sucha PATCH.
brett: ok sorry i must be mistaken maybe i blinked my one eye and got the wrong end of the stick
when a person smeres a strangers penis smeg on a seasaw before riding it for pleasure.
sharon:did u see jimmy on that seasaw
john:yea hes such a smegrider