text massage

When one gets a text message when their phone is on vibrate. The phone vibrates and creates a massaging feeling in ones thigh, creating pleasure to the recipient.

Job interviever: what do you think you can offer to the company?
Ryan: uhhh.... ahhhhhhhhhhhhh
Narrarator: Ryan cannot control his emotions during his interview due to his receiving of a "text massage".

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wooden spoon

It is an erection ; or a boner. Usually a wooden spoon would be a pretty long erection, considering wooden spoons are usually about a foot long.

The boy popped a wooden spoon as he watched his neighbors have sex through their bedroom window.

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