Shitfuckshitfuckshitfuckshitfuck

The sound made when driving through too narrow a gap at too high a speed.

Sammy: Arrghhh we're not going to make it!!
Nick: Shitfuckshitfuckshitfuckshitfuck

89👍 24👎

Fist of Fury

A gentleman with a specific wank window, ie his missus has just popped next door for a cup of sugar, A mindless act of violent self abuse carried out in a sort of masturbatory red mist.

Sammy: Nick, I'm just popping next door for a few minutes
Nick: Ok honey, don't be long (but really!)
Nick to himself: Fist of Fury...engage!!! Arrrggghhhh yeaaaahhhh!

39👍 14👎

Jester Feet

The curling of ones toes at the point of orgasmic climax, thus replicating the turned up shoes of a court jester.

Scott: Did you give the missus one last night?
Nick: Oh yeah, Sammy rode me hard and good and gave me jester feet!

20👍 3👎

Adam Ant

To inscribe a white line across a ladies face using ones naughty paintbrush,in a style reminiscent of the briefly popular eighties highwayman' make up.

Sammy: What the heck are you doing?
*Nick wields his shooting schlong like a paintbrush all over Sammy's face
Nick: I'm giving you an Adam Ant baby!

57👍 39👎

BOBFOC

Body Off Baywatch, Face Off Crimewatch. A person who possesses a killer body but has a face that only a mother could love.

Check out that bobfoc!

2630👍 1014👎

She-Tox

A period of time when a married mans missus is away, during which time he cleanses his system of her wholesome influences. A welcome relapse into batchelorhood ways of drinking, wanking, and curry eating himself to death.

Friend: Alright Nick, wow you look like shit
Nick: Cheers pal, Samantha's been away and ive been on a strict two week "She Tox"

30👍 8👎

Going for a McSh!t

Entering a fast food restaurant with no intention of buying food, you're just going to the bog. If challenged by a pimply staff member, your declaration to them that you'll buy their food afterwards is a Mcsh!t with Lies.

Nick: Damn, I need to go to the toilet bad..brb...going for a McSh!t

71👍 26👎