Sob stopper

A small present of little value which is acquired on the way home by a thoughtful man who has drunk too much and stayed out too late, in the hope of stopping his missus turning the fucking waterworks on. Examples include cheap chocolates bought from all night garages and bunches of flowers stolen from cemeteries.

I was gonna cop it from the missus if I didn't stop on the way home at the local petrol station to grab a sob stopper for the old ball 'n chain.

19👍 11👎

Crafty Fisherman

A Hermaphrodite, ie, one who carries round a spare set of tackle.

Sammy: Do you think Tom will get lucky tonight?
Nick: Tom gets lucky every night..he's a crafty fisherman!
Sammy: OMG!

16👍 5👎

Titanic

A lady who goes down first time out.

Nick: Hmmmm you suck like the Titanic
Sammy: And you blow like an asthmatic!

26👍 51👎