Altoona

See also: Hell

A city in Central Pennsylvania. Usually, people who come from this area are uneducated. Literacy rates are lower here than any other city in the Northern United States. 78% of female teens (under 18) are pregnant. Obesity rates are also among the highest of any other City in the United States.

Altoona is a retirement community, based around old people, waiting to die. It's main commerce consists of drug trafficking and prostitution. Disease runs rampent, as 28% of the city's supply of drinking water is contaminated with protazoan cysts and oocysts, mercury, and DDT.

The population of people under 60 (which is 12%) are all redneck farmers or want-to-be gansters. In fact, i've become dumber just thinking about Altoona.

Main forms of entertainment in Altoona are drugs, racing on the boulevard, and hanging out at Sheetz(a gas station).

Man one: Wanna go to dat der Altoona and hang out down der at da Sheetz?

Man two: *puts gun in mouth* *BANG!*

Man one: Oh no! You got blood on my new overalls!

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