miwlf

Mom I Wouldn't Like to Fuck

Look at that fat miwlf, I bet her nipples smell like piss.

99👍 35👎

Mike Tyson

To rape someone.

After losing a bet, Matt was forced to Mike Tyson a homeless man or become an egg-asser... he chose the former.

33👍 82👎

home plate

A 5-pointed ass.

I drank so much beer I actually slid into that miwlf's home plate.

72👍 160👎

home plate

n. The ass of a mother/older woman, where the jeans come up to the middle of the back, revealing an odd-shaped buttform.

I don't know if she plays baseball or is just a thief, because it looks like there's a home plate in her slacks.

53👍 166👎

immaculate

A shit that leaves the toilet paper spotless.

"Denise, honey, why are you wasting toilet paper?"

"Oh, that's already been used... I had an immaculate."

"I know, but it can still be re-used."

"Oh. I'm sorry."

"Bitch."

77👍 110👎

Burt Reynolds

adj. drunker than piss

"I'm totally Burt Reynolds."

"How much did you have?"

67👍 61👎

pant dick

n. The fold in someone's pants or shorts that makes it look like their dick is sticking out.

"Hey, Spence! You look horny, you want to go fuck?"

"Nah, I'm too Burt Reynolds for that. These jeans just give me major pant dick."

50👍 10👎