FTL

FTL or FUCK THE LORD, not to be confused with WWJD (what would Jesus do).

What you say to Jesus freaks when they ask you to go to Jesus camp, youth group, pray with them, or go to some stupid ass church.

1.

“Elizebeth, you seem to have gone down the wrong path lately, my father suggested that you accompany us to church this Sunday.”

“FTL, hoe.”

2.

“I just started dating this girl, Brittany, who teaches preschool at a Christian school, and she made me go to some weird church and listen to some new age pastor, who is friends with Biebs, obvi”

“FTL, bro!”

3.

“Please can I have a minute of your time to speak to you about something very important???

Our savior Jesus Christ gave himself so completely to us and I ask you to please let Christ into your heart”

“Hmmmmm.....FTL!!!!!!”

4.

Thanksgiving dinner Grace

“I would just like to thank you Jesus for all that you’ve given us, for everything you sacrificed for us, we just want to thank you, Christ, we want to thank you for giving my sister a second chance at life after her terrible addiction to meth and coffee enemas, as well as her many abortions, and to aunt Susan who continues to devote her life to servicing you, God, we are so grateful that you gave so much for us Jesus, AMEN!

“LOL, FTL!!! You freaks! Do you actually believe that there is a god? Ahaha ...ok, lol! And Santa Clause and spongebob squarepants are also real.”

5.
“Hello, this is Cindy Jenkins from Holy Savior Church in Santa Monica, we would like to ask for your donation this holiday season to help spread the good word of the lord almighty.”

“Shut up, church bitich , and FTL! ..Click”