No Shot

When there is absolutely no chance that something happened/or is true. The phrase first gained popularity when it was heard echoing from a shipping container somewhere in Austin, Texas. It can even be traced back to an individual named Tyler "Dimmadomefuck" Niknam, from whom it spread like a virus.

It is typical for people who have adapted this phrase to use it continuously to the point where it becomes frustrating. Saying "No shot" ad nauseam has been linked with heavy cocaine use and having sudden bald spots appear.

"I did not commit the murder, i swear!"
"No shot, bucko! Vote him out."

"There should be equal treatment of men and women in this workplace."
" NOOO Shot!"

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Mald

Malding is a condition originating from Uganda, where the patient zero was found (circa) 1990. It is often described as the human version of molding. Certain tobacco products like Snus are said to enhance the effects of malding.

It is characterized by the victims baldness, lack of skill and anger issues. Subjects of the condition are also said to have decorated their room with self portraits and paintings of things that make them feel uneasy.

"so mald, so bald"

"Why doesnt he back off when i hit him twice? Fucking RNG man"

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