Pandemic Pokey-Cokey

The panic that sets in when strangers meet in a passage or aisle not allowing 2 metres social distancing room.

You should’ve seen those pensioners doing the Pandemic Pokey-Cokey in the corner store confectionary aisle. They were moving quicker than cats chasing lasers.

Sympathy Farmer

Snowflake generation illness to gain fame or attention.

Looks like genuine grief but without tears and always in public situations.

Performers include Andy Murray, the Brazilian National squad, cheating cricketers and Britain’s Got Talent panelists.

I’m not sure those tears are necessary for minor corrective surgery or whether Andy is a practicing Sympathy Farmer.

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scamdy-cat

An irrational fear of online transactional payment; often witnessed in the pensioner population.

For Christ's sake, that's another call from Auntie Irene. She's waited less than ten minutes for a "forgot password " reminder on Amazon and now the scamdy-cat believes some Nigerian hacker has cleaned out her account.