Jesus hates you

1. a figure of speech meaning that you have bad luck

2. a possible death threat from a guy named Jesus

3. funny to say to a religious person

Person A: Geez man, that's some really bad luck. Shit... Jesus hates you!

Person B: Who's Jesus?

Person A: Not sure... it's just a figure of speech. I think it was the leader of some cult back in medieval times.

18👍 11👎

anal retention

Anal retention is holding on to a monster poo when you can't get to the toilet.

Father George's poor anal retention cost him all credibility during the sermon, when he sneezed and defecated himself with a revolting spray

17👍 7👎