96

96 - noun

1. A SFW sexual position.

-Similar to 69, however 96 involves no actual sexual action. The bottom partner, or the “9,” (usually the taller partner) lays face down on the mattress, while the top partner, or the “6,” (usually the shorter of the two) lays on top of the “9”, resting their feet of the upper back of “9” and resting their head on their calves or heels. Once in position, both partners now drift off into state of contemplation. Popular topics include but are not limited to; “Are we alone in the universe?”, “What is the human condition?” and “Is there a god?” Among others. Some also try to converse, but seeing as the bottom partner is being slightly smothered, they aren’t doing much talking. Some couples do the 96 fully clothed, on the opposite end of the spectrum some do it fully naked, however, most prefer to do the 96 in their underwear, as to keep it intimate, but not sexual.

“Hey honey, I want to try something else tonight, mix it up.”

“Do you feel like having an existential crisis?”

“Sure! But how do we do that?”

“We do the 96.”

...

“...but do you think it’s because they don’t want to contact us, or because they simply haven’t achieved a level of technology that high?”

“Mmmrrph. Hmm mmhhh.”

“Me too.”

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