Business Breakfast

When you are a server or a barista, a sure sign that you are not going to get tipped.

Server: That will be five complicated lattes, a bagel toasted at exactly 185 degrees, and 8 ounces of cold soy milk over chocolate ice cubes. That'll be 15.50.

Customers: Here's exact change. We pay enough for you kids. Now, give us 3 tables we can move together and horde for the next three hours.

Server: Oh, you guys must be having a business breakfast.

Complicado

A drink originally composed of coffee, but made so complicated it can hardly be referred to as a liquid anymore. Usually ordered by low self-esteem in order to prove their own self-worth.

Note. The customer ordering this is unlikely to tip.

Customer: Hi, could I get a tall-

Barista: We called them small here-

Customer: Yeah, a tall, quintuple shot latte, no foam, with soy milk, fat-free chocolate, sugar-free vanilla, and heated to precisely 185.2 degrees. And can I get that in a venti cup-

Barista: We call them LARGE here-

Customer: Yeah, in a venti cup so I can empty your cream pitchers? And served on a gold platter?

Barista: One complicado. Coming right up.

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