Richmond Regards

The dramatic act of leaving your excrement in a bag in a prominent location at a lovers house.

Used in 1 of 3 ways;

1. A break-up device (when a text message or argument in the street just can't sum up your disdain for your former-partner).

2. As a fetish tool - to surprise and excite your loved one when they return home from work.

3. Accidentally. When your lover heads out for work - leaving you in bed. You proceed to lay an enormous cable in their toilet and (petrified of flooding their apartment or leaving the huge log to float and welcome them home later) you panic and decide to scoop it into a bag and drop it into the nearest bin when you leave...but forget to take it with you and leave it on the sideboard in the hallway for them to discover upon their return.

"What a prick he was. I couldn't help it - when he left I went nuts. I flushed his goldfish down the toilet, ripped all his jeans in half, left a message for his mum saying he got a hooker pregnant...oh, and before I stormed out...I left my Richmond Regards at the top of his closet...should take him a couple of days to find."

"Hi honey, just wanted to leave you a message to say I can't wait to see you tonight...and in the meantime...I've left you my Richmond Regards on your bedside table. Enjoy"

"I couldn't believe it. I really clicked with this guy...and as soon as the door slammed shut I though 'Fuck...I've left him my Richmond Regards'"

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