Snackrifice

The willing trade of a food or beverage item in return for a future favor or service.

Zach didn't want to mow the lawn, but Jamey made him a snackrifice of hot wings for doing it.

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Shaolin Bass Master

One who plays bass guitar with such skill and presence that their style appears as that of a martial art. Could theoretically be used in a fight. Typically unorthodox, self-taught, and heavy-handed.

Jamus: Wow, dude, you swing that bass around like a weapon!

Zach: Yeah man, gotta keep the crowd back.

Jamus: You're a goddamn Shaolin Bass Master!

Spartan Shower

An ice-cold shower taken daily to enhance one's mental toughness and physical well-being. Spartans, for whom valued strength and pride as matters of high reputation, believed hot water was for the weak and emasculated; they frequently immersed in cold water for vigor and increased vitality. The Spartan Shower has numerous benefits including:

-Improved circulation
-Improved immune system
-Reduced blood pressure on internal organs
-Strengthens the sympathetic nervous system
-Improved mood, decreased anxiety and stress, relieved depression
-Improved hair and skin
-Decreased inflammation
-Increased testosterone
-Conditions you to be fearless as a Spartan warrior

Jamey used to be timid, but he started taking Spartan Showers every day and now he eats bears for breakfast.

Friend Zone

Noun: A vapid social construct created to shelter the male's ego and his inability to cope with rejection.

I tried to get Sam to go out with me, but she left me in the friend zone.

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Dicktits

1. A response to being asked "what's up", meaning that so little in the day has been eventful that the vigorous masturbating of one's tits has been the only source of entertainment. Usually followed by a two-handed gesture where one mimes jerking of the nipples.

2. A general profanity, used to exclaim surprise, anger, or disappointment.

1. Zach: "Hey man, what's up today?"

Jamey: "Meh, dicktits." *mimics nipple jerking*

2. *Walks into a swarm of bees*

Paul: "Sweet merciful dicktits!"

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Cuntdick

Used to refer to a third party in a conversation that has not been identified as male or female.

Lane: "Someone said I look like Fran Drescher in this pic!"

Jenn: "At least they didn't say you sound like her, then you'd have to punch 'em in the cuntdick."

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Stealth Viking

When one has the body mass of a Viking and the ability to move silently like a ninja. Makes sneak attacks far more devastating

Kyle: Zach is such a huge guy! How does he move like that?

Mozer: He's a Stealth Viking, dude.

Kyle: Put a bell on him!