poop knife

A knife stored near the toilet to chop giant concrete turds that would otherwise clog the toilet. Poop knives should be dull (since an accidental skin laceration would result in infection) and long-handled. Poop knives should never be used during the bowel movement.

You may want to find something else to butter your toast with, for that is my poop knife.

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methinks

A really pretentious and annoying way to say "I think."

Methinks me shall skippeth off to the Ethan of Allen in order that I may find an alternative to this late 90s kitsch.

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