Puerh

A type of Chinese tea that is loved by tea connoisseurs. This tea usually tastes like old dirt, but like, really good old dirt.

Yo Tyrone, pass over some of that dank Gu Shu puerh

Gu Shu

A type of high quality tea made from tea trees that are at least 1.5 billion years old. This tea is made from the first leaf that grows exactly at 2:00am on the fourth day of spring. The leaves are hand picked by ancient Chinese gorillas and pan fried over a dragon's fire breath. To fully enjoy this tea, you must use a Yixing teapot that has been hand crafted by an ancient Chinese monk between the years 1750-1751. The tea must be brewed at exactly 373.5 degrees Kelvin, otherwise the aromatics will be lost. To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Gu Shu.

Hey Tyrone, pass that dank Gu Shu Pu