Short Hills

I've lived in shit hills my whole life so here's a bit about it. 7th grade is batmitzah season, where most kids are invited to about 100 throughout the year. costing between $80,000 and $150,000. the traditional turbulence dance at every mitzah. boys jump around in a circle yelling "fuck the police" or "we slay p*ssy". All the girls dress like they're 20 in Bebe dresses, push up bras and 6 inch heels. mostly everyone lives in giant mansions but there are some small houses. The famous short hills mall is where there is every designer brand and the Starbucks line is always long. the only sandwiches you get at the Millburn Deli is the Godfadda or Jay Ray. girls in elementary or middle school shop at Gotham and kids at heart. Kids go to sleepaway camp for 7 weeks leaving parents to go on trips or their beach houses. whether its the hamptons, aspen, or Boca Raton to see our grandparents, we are there. All dads commute in and out of the city everyday. with the japs, we do have caps (Christian American princesses) which we invented. Chinese and Indians move here for the schools. there are no black people. high schoolers have parties every weekend where there is pot and expensive vodka. They insta themselves drinking because parents dgaf. some people exaggerate it here just because they are jealous of he bubble that we live in. We will never know how the real world works because our parents will pay for our NYC apartment out of college and everything after that:)

Short Hills may have the worst reputation but residents don't mind the hate because they can buy your house and use it as their dog house:)

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