arden theory

The Arden Theory is that no one named Arden actually looks like they’d be an Arden

Person 1: “oh look at this girl, Arden”
Person 2: “her name is Arden? She looks more like a Caitlyn to me…”
Person 1: “totally.”
Person 2: “see? Arden Theory.”

hangxiety tourettes

When the hangxiety is so bad that your body has uncontrolled physical reactions to the cringe and embarrassment that you feel while being haunted by all the stupid shit your drunk alter ego did. Most commonly appears as a quick head shake + flinch combo — your body is trying to shake that atrocious thought right out of your head.

“Dude why are you twitching so much”

“Ah it’s the hangxiety tourettes”