Shrewd simian

Synonymous for saying someone is one hell of a smart monkey.

Ex 1:
John: Well I’ll be a monkey's uncle! Steve Jobs has made Apple more valuable than Microsoft on the market!

Justin: There's no doubt he's a shrewd simian.

Ex 2:
I just saved a lot of money by switching to GEICO! Call me pretentious, but this car owner feels like one shrewd simian!

29👍 4👎

Ninja Nipples

What a woman has if she goes all day without a bra on and no one noticed.

We were out all day with Jane and never noticed she wasn't wearing a bra. It was nipply out and she wasn't wearing a jacket either. The woman's got ninja nipples!

21👍 1👎

Anal juice stamp

When an animal plops it's leaking anus down on your floor, desk, kitchen table, or other surface you wish it hadn't (pretty much every surface) and leaves a slimy excretion from it's anal glands.

My cat pulled a Chester Cheetah style prank on me as it sat, stepped, and repeated all the way across my desk leaving an anal juice stamp at each "sit" interval.

21👍 2👎