Louisiana Flameout

A Louisiana flameout is when a guy gets hammered drunk and then takes a large lady (at least 300 lbs) back to his hotel room. It’s important that said lady has been gorging herself on southern food smothered in ghost pepper hot sauce (at least a million scovilles) for a minimum of two days straight before the guy hooks up with her, (and that the guy doesn’t know she’s been binging on spicy Gumbo, fried oysters, Beignets and gator sausage). Back in the hotel room, in his inebriated state he wants to get a little freaky and tongue the big girl’s anus. As he lifts her ample legs over her head for better access to said orifice, the change in position results in a momentary relaxation of her sphincter muscles and a volcanic eruption of molten magma shit explodes in the guys face. Tell tale signs the following morning are third degree burns to the guys face and inside of the mouth. While it can happen in other parts of Louisiana, it happens in New Orleans on a nightly basis, normally after guys have got liquored up on Bourbon Street, hence referred to locally as the French Quarter Flameout.

You see Tim this morning? Judging by the state of his face, looks like he got himself a Louisiana Flameout last night.

7👍 2👎

Lana Dedrater

Lana DeDrater was the daughter of Marcus Crassus. When he was killed in the battle of Fagina, Lana ran backwards all the way to Rome to inform Caesar the triumvirate had fallen.

She ran backwards for 100 miles so as to never take her eyes off the enemy.

It is not a coincidence that Lana’s name spelt backwards is a reference to a private body part with learning difficulties- her father Marcus had a wicked sense of humor. After Marcus’s death and Lana’s epic run, when wanting to mock someone playfully in public, Romans would say they had the character of Lana Dedrater.

In modern day and in close running communities, Lana is now recognized as the patron saint of ultra running.

Cornelius my good fellow, you’ve all the traits of Lana Dedrater!

Snail Hatching

Snail Hatching is when baby snail fetuses are hatched out of the guys asshole and optionally into their friend or partners mouth. First the guy tucks his penis and testes between his legs, making what looks somewhat similar to a large “snail” when viewed from behind. Then he pushes his snail head (penis head) up his asshole and then rubs it vigorously until he ejaculates into his anus. Then he pulls his snail head out pushes beads of cum thereby “hatching” baby snails out of his sphincter into his partners open mouth which they have positioned below during the whole process.

Hey Johnathan, said Ryan, wanna do some snail hatching? We’ll use my snail though.