Rural Dictionary

battlefield 1942

Oh. My. GOD! It sucks so much! It looks like someone **** in the hard drive, plugged it in and, boom, there you go. But besides that, the code sucks too. Random lag on a LAN, crashes, kicks and a bunch of other crap that just sucks too. The game itself is boring and populated by idiots (direct quotes about team damage, from people complaining about TKers: "Its the skill of the game!" "i'll come back into the room only if you turn team damage on" (to which a friend of mine replies "So you can tk us?" (he says back "Exactly! TKing is fun! Its the best part of the game")

Besides that, its like the Beyonce` of games, really popular, but for no apparent reason. Wait, I take that back, Beyonce` is hot. Did I mention its just not fun? The flak turrets (essentialy the only anti-air devices in the game) take forever to actually hit something, and you need to hit a plane at least 6 times to actually destroy it, and it requires at least a football field of leading. The maps are so massive that the only way across is via vehicle, which the entire team usually ends up camping because of the previous statement. Otherwise, you get to do one of the only fun things in the game, which is to pilot really big ships. Even then, the fun doesn't last. The submarines best ability, being able to go underwater, is completley nerfed by the fact that when you do go underwater, all you can see is a background of what a submerged submarine supposedly looks like from the inside. No lock on torpedoes, no radar, no aiming up, even. The destroyers... Oh, the destroyers... I remeber passing another one and engaging in combat, and after destroying it, the explosion somehow travelled the 700-900 feet and went right into the place I was piloting the ship from. Damn realistic physics. What i'm trying to say is that the enemy ship sunk, mine didn't, but I died for no apparent reason... Other than that, there is the battleship, but people complain if you move it CLOSER to the objectives, since obviously, that would be a detriment to capturing them. Maybe its because the massive battleship has about the same armor as a goliath, and it takes about 10-15 defgun shots to utterly destroy... People complain about this, since they're too busy capturing the points to protect their own intital spawn point, and then complain about playing as a teammate... Oh, and the planes are impossible to fly... They have the same max speed as a skateboard and can hardly make it off the landing strip without a "pull-up pull up!!" moment... Oh, theres also incredibly slow swimming segments to get to land (the people who give a rats ass about realism should note that if the guns weren't covered in plastic (a la` Saving Private Ryan) they'd get waterlogged and not be able to shoot) without a boat, plane or mystical genie at which point you're pretty much a sitting duck, and cannot fire back or swim faster. At all. Theres also the deathmatch part of it... All I have to say is "good luck" since if you can actually find someone in the vehicle you inevitable used to get to the land, you deserve to kill them... Although, watch out, because realistically, if you try to go up too far, your plane starts to glide backwards like a kite. Realistically. And if you do land, the best tactic is to camp camp camp and camp some more. I even talked to one of the top 3 scorers post game and said all he did was stay in one place the whole game and hardly move an inch... Spawncamping in dive bombers is also an excellent tactic, as I followed and spectated the high scorer during the game, and you will never guess what he was doing. Ever. Never never never never.

Person 1: Lets go play SUPER REALISTIC battlefield online, so we can have fun. Realistic fun.
Person 2: Bull crap, Battlefield is as fun as dental work. Lets go play UT2k4

by Simon July 22, 2004

22👍 142👎

battlefield 1942

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