Shwalrus

A she walrus. A woman who is morbidly obese and can not do much but lay there like a beached whale.

Leonard look at that shwalrus sitting over there! She's probably eaten nine times today, just seeing her ruined my day, like putting ketchup on a filet mignon. The fat rolls are cottage cheese cascading like a waterfall over everything. I bet her cronge smells like soured rotten infection.

carp starver

When a MILF is playing koi and using herself as dong bait just to get attention.

"So I was at the pool the other day and this total carp starver was waving at every dick that walked by."

hoager

Hoager - When a woman is being unreasonable about a subject that is irrelevant.

Timmy was sure to let Sally know she was a hoager for bitching about ignorant bullshit while he was trying to eat.