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Wicca

1. Bunch of teenage girls chanting over candles, wearing pentacles, and occasionally shouting "Oh My Goddess!" Mostly in it to rebel against Christianity. They will typically buy at least 10 books, many of them containing spells perfect for the uncreative, unimaginative teen. This phenomenon is a result of the desire to be something without any real work, or patience, or dedication.

2. An initiatory, orthopraxic, oathbound, nature-based fertility cult. *Real* Wiccans have been initiated by a lineaged high priest(ess), OR directly by deity (but this is very rare). Because the names of their gods and the specific practices of rituals are oathbound, eclectic Wiccans are not real Wiccans, just Wicca-influenced neopagans. Because it is orthopraxic (defined by practices more than beliefs), these oathbound mysteries are necessary to be Wiccan. If you have no lineage from Gerald Gardner, you have no knowledge of the mysteries. Without this knowledge, you are not Wiccan.

1. "Oh my Gaaawwdeessss I put a love spell on Derrick with lavender oil and a red candle! I hope he asks me to prrroooommmmmmmm!!!!!!!!!"

2.

Eclectic: Oh my goddess! So you're like, Wiccan?
Wiccan: Yes
Eclectic: Oh cool, what's your fave ritual, mine is Silver RavenWolf's sage incense chant!!11!
Wiccan: Oh, well, I prefer ceremonial magic, which involves extensive use of tools as symbolism and the calling of various spirits to do bidding.
Eclectic: Ugh, you uptight traditional losers!
Wiccan: At least I actually know stuff.

by Simplify Yo Mama June 28, 2009

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