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Random
Mental termites are words or arguments that slowly chip away at your self-worth, hitting you exactly where it hurts. If your brain is getting mental termites from a relationship, you must be in a relationship with a narcissist.
Me looking in mirror - I can't even believe that he cheated on me and told me it was my fault because I had to work late. I improved his life in every possible way. Now all the bad memories are bringing me down like mental termites.
Bosnian Mountain Time is the time that you leave the party and/or bar after intending to "just have one drink and leave."
Me: Just so you know, I'm planning on leaving at nine.
Jen: Ok me too
Me: Oh shit it's after nine.
Jen: Let's leave at nine o'clock Central Time
(time goes by drinks flow)
Me and Jen: We are leaving at nine o'clock Pacific Time (shots glasses clinking)
(time goes by and drinks flow - bar is closing)
Jen: What time zone are we leaving at?
Me: Fuck we're on Bosnian Mountain Time now (said so slurry sub-titles are needed)
That awful feeling when you know your vacation is coming to an end. Vacation euphoria ending is like a Sunday Psychosis - there's a sense of doom about returning to reality
It's time to go home tomorrow! I have a serious case of vacation euphoria ending!
Stories that are over the top, possibly uncomfortable and embarrassing. It's based on the Friends episode, where Paul Rudd (Mike) takes Phoebe to meet his parents and she tells a story about how she has Hepatitis because a pimp spit in her mouth.
I was on a date and this guy was telling ridiculous stories about fighting, like being outnumbered 6 to 1 and using a baseball bat in fights, and I was just like, could we have less pimp spit stories please.
1π 2π
Easter Bunny is a term for a superficial, shallow women who seems so enticing at first. Upon further review, she's as hollow as an Easter Bunny.
She's so beautiful, but couldn't be more shallow if you tried. She's like an Easter Bunny
Summer camp is code (when you're in public) for lost time due to incarceration or mental health issues, both prisons and psych wards offer activities that resemble summer camp as a child.
Him: Where did you learn how to write so well and meditate? You're amazing!
Me: I thought I told you. I learned in summer camp.
5π 1π
President Shock Jock - Our president speaks like the shock jocks of the nineties.
Me: Did you hear that our President called some third world countries, shithole countries?
Him: That's President Shock Jock for you! He's like having Howard Stern for President.
Me: Is that good diplomacy?
Him: What do you think?