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Modern day slavery in the workforce is corporate slavery is the mistreatment of employees by paying low wages and no health care. Typically you have a toxic manager that focuses on what you do wrong, which is minimal, but focusing on what you do well and does realize that you have a life outside of work. Often there is a point system for attendance, for instance getting one point for calling sick. You can only earn a certain of points if you call off for work, but you could be a single mother with sick children. Corporate Slavery has risen dramatically due to the decline of unions and "The Right to Work"
Me: Kathy just called in sick for today because when she woke up, her fiancee next to her in bed had died in bed.
Krystal: Can you believe Sheri's response to Kathy was that since it was unplanned absence she would earn a point. Then the boss told her she wouldn't paid for her bereavement time, because he was just a fiancee - not yet a husband.
Me: So wait - are telling me that Kathy won't received the paid bereavement because he was "just" a fiancee. I can't believe Sheri would even mention points. Like Kathy gives a shit right now.
Krystal: This is corporate slavery. Remember when the computers were non-functional and we had to show up to this damn cube farm all three days and just at a non-working computer.
Me: That was horribly boring! Right right this is just a form of modern day slavery. I hate it here, when do I get to time off during the day to be able to interview. It is almost impossible to get your time off approved.
A government colonoscopy is when you arrange for the ATF, the IRS, and unemployment to investigate your abusive ex, since you couldn't get him arrested for abuse, hopefully he will be arrested for tax fraud or illegally owning a firearm or abusing unemployment during COVID.
Did you ever get Killian to stop stalking you?
I ordered a government colonoscopy for him. He has bigger problems now.
Sex with a narcissist is nex (narcissist sex). Nex is usually the best sex can get, which keeps you around for a minute even after you notice the toxic behaviors.
I don't know why I dated him, other than the nex was out of this world!
Like a gold digger, this person marries for money, but the catch is they have to be old to the point that they only two inches left
Me: Did you see that Amanda from high school married that rich dude with all that money and can only get around in a wheelchair.
Her: I'm thinking that she thinks he has only two inches left.
When there isn't enough time for full out sex, time only allows for a pump and dump. Also known as a quickie or a nooner.
Him: Girl - I'm horny as hell.
Her: I have a million things to do today - like I literally have twelve minutes.
Him: I only need five (wink wink)
Her: (after it's over) Sorry for the pump and dump but I got to go.
Bitching into someone's ear when you don't want the group to hear.
"I'm going to take a picture but I have to turn on the flash." Friend whispers bitches only to you -" Flash photography makes me look awful" Me - Please stop the whisper bitching.
An expression meaning that everything turned out alright like your toast landing buttered side up.
Her: It's been a rough year, a breakup, lost my job and my best friend..
Me: Chin up, you'll land buttered side up! You always do!