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People tend to think of relationships as binary. You are either in a committed relationship or you are single. A non-binary relationship is where you are fucking someone, but also free to fuck other people - like friends with benefits or the dreaded "it's complicated" relationship status.
Him: so who is this guy you are seeing.
Me: Well I don't know if I would call it all that -we are free to be with other people too - its a non-binary relationship.
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Coronafornication is the excessive amount of sex that you had during the pandemic because there was nothing else to do.
Me: So I barely see my friends with benefits now that the pandemic is over. Life is back to normal and we're both back to working, hobbies, and friends...
Her: So you got laid MORE during the pandemic?
Me: So much coronafornication! Many times a week for over a year!
Square dancing is code for married sex. Married sex is very unoriginal - You do this to me - 1,2, - I do that to you - 3,4
I need to get some strange. I'm tired of square dancing.
When you have a white claw with your breakfast instead of a coffee, it's a clawfee.
Me: I'm stopping at the gas station for donuts. Do you need anything?
Him: I'm just going to get a clawfee.
Me: Not a bad idea...it's five o'clock somewhere!
Getting eaten out by a dude with a beard.
My boyfriend never shaves when he's on vacation. I hope I get a magic carpet ride!
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Gateway shopping is when you break down to buy "just one thing" after you told yourself you have to stop spending money. Much like breaking the seal when drinking, once you have purchased one item, you'll purchase five more items, spend money you don't have, probably will have buyer's remorse.
Me: I'm not going to spend any more money on leggings and purses. I have to buckle down and save money.
Also me: Ok I've got to go to the mall for just one thing - I need sandals and that's it. That's all I'm buying.
Also Me: Ok this purse looks really with the sandals, but I like that purse too - two purses won't be a big deal. It's just Coach...
My friend: It looks like those sandals sucked you into gateway shopping - you broke the seal!
Wall-E World is the startling realization that the 2008 Disney Pixar film is becoming a real-time documentary instead of dystopian fiction.
Me: I can't believe the sun looks so hazy. I've just never seen a sun that quite like this before.
Them: It looks like that because of the raging forest fires
Me: That's literally happening at the other end of the continent...
Them: Welcome to Wall-E World