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When there isn't enough time for full out sex, time only allows for a pump and dump. Also known as a quickie or a nooner.
Him: Girl - I'm horny as hell.
Her: I have a million things to do today - like I literally have twelve minutes.
Him: I only need five (wink wink)
Her: (after it's over) Sorry for the pump and dump but I got to go.
People tend to think of relationships as binary. You are either in a committed relationship or you are single. A non-binary relationship is where you are fucking someone, but also free to fuck other people - like friends with benefits or the dreaded "it's complicated" relationship status.
Him: so who is this guy you are seeing.
Me: Well I don't know if I would call it all that -we are free to be with other people too - its a non-binary relationship.
A Chad, is a cocky asshole who destroys everything they touch. A free range Chad, disrespects every boundary you have, oblivious to the fact that people even have boundaries.
Me: He can you not name call? I don't like it at all
Him: I do what I want
Me: Stop being a free range Chad
Gateway shopping is when you break down to buy "just one thing" after you told yourself you have to stop spending money. Much like breaking the seal when drinking, once you have purchased one item, you'll purchase five more items, spend money you don't have, probably will have buyer's remorse.
Me: I'm not going to spend any more money on leggings and purses. I have to buckle down and save money.
Also me: Ok I've got to go to the mall for just one thing - I need sandals and that's it. That's all I'm buying.
Also Me: Ok this purse looks really with the sandals, but I like that purse too - two purses won't be a big deal. It's just Coach...
My friend: It looks like those sandals sucked you into gateway shopping - you broke the seal!
Wall-E World is the startling realization that the 2008 Disney Pixar film is becoming a real-time documentary instead of dystopian fiction.
Me: I can't believe the sun looks so hazy. I've just never seen a sun that quite like this before.
Them: It looks like that because of the raging forest fires
Me: That's literally happening at the other end of the continent...
Them: Welcome to Wall-E World
A u-boat is someone who can have an invisible disability and go undetected for years, like a u-boat, or an underwater boat.
So in middle-age, I've been diagnosed with autism. While it explains a lot, I feel like a u-boat.
The sober person that hold it all together on a night out of partying. Mission control makes all the decisions and makes sure no one gets in trouble.
Hey can I buy you a vodka cranberry?
No, I'm mission control tonight.