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Like a gold digger, this person marries for money, but the catch is they have to be old to the point that they only two inches left
Me: Did you see that Amanda from high school married that rich dude with all that money and can only get around in a wheelchair.
Her: I'm thinking that she thinks he has only two inches left.
A grammar outlaw is the opposite of a grammar nazi. Grammar outlaws will use a group pronoun instead of a singular she or he, for instance, grammatically correct, but just because it fits better. Grammar outlaws can - or is that may - use words that flow for conversational purposes.
Me: Can I use the bathroom?
Teacher: I don't know. CAN, you?
Me: Listen (bitch). You think me a grammar outlaw, but I'm not. This is not a failure to communicate. You know exactly what I mean. When colloquialisms become ubiquitious, everyone understands their meaning. Now CAN you write me the pass or not
When there isn't enough time for full out sex, time only allows for a pump and dump. Also known as a quickie or a nooner.
Him: Girl - I'm horny as hell.
Her: I have a million things to do today - like I literally have twelve minutes.
Him: I only need five (wink wink)
Her: (after it's over) Sorry for the pump and dump but I got to go.
Bitching into someone's ear when you don't want the group to hear.
"I'm going to take a picture but I have to turn on the flash." Friend whispers bitches only to you -" Flash photography makes me look awful" Me - Please stop the whisper bitching.
A Covid year is a year that is marked by extreme time dilations where time seems to go by much slower due to tedious chaos and the inability to socialize in person.
Me: So I got together with by brothers last night. We had a nice time going out to dinner.
Them: Its been a while - a covid year to be exact.
A government colonoscopy is when you arrange for the ATF, the IRS, and unemployment to investigate your abusive ex, since you couldn't get him arrested for abuse, hopefully he will be arrested for tax fraud or illegally owning a firearm or abusing unemployment during COVID.
Did you ever get Killian to stop stalking you?
I ordered a government colonoscopy for him. He has bigger problems now.
An expression meaning that everything turned out alright like your toast landing buttered side up.
Her: It's been a rough year, a breakup, lost my job and my best friend..
Me: Chin up, you'll land buttered side up! You always do!