Magoobered

To transition from being sexy and, or, attractive to being just… magoo. A below average person that can only attract flies and an occasional mosquito.

My husband was hot when we got married, but he magoobered himself into slob status.

Woman-cushion

When someone blows an impressive amount of air into the vagina, then sits on her stomach so all the air queefs out like a Whoopie-cushion.

Nothing turns me on like the noise and smell of my woman-cushion.

Spicy Turkey

When a man pulls his scrotum down to resemble a turkeys caruncle (wattle). He then uses a zester to remove the outer layer of skin and then dunk his sack into the hot sauce of his choice. He will then make the noises of an angry Turkey.

I would rather have a Spicy Turkey than spend time with my ex.

Harpoontang

The art of seducing a mate that exceeds the weight limit of an F-350. Usually in reference to a woman considered a “whale”, you must inflate her ego, since the rest of her is already inflated. Jumping on a harpoontang grenade is the bravest and most loyal thing a friend can do.

My junk will henceforth be known as Moby Dick, due to my harpoontang record.

Herpegonorsyphilchlamydial warts

When you let a fat redhead from Florence Montana with a little dick that’s been with dozens of hookers stick his tongue in your butt and talk to you about war, electricity and McDonald’s.

I got Herpegonorsyphilchlamydial warts because I thought he was interesting and wanted someone to eat my ass.

Brenting

When someone, is obsessed with being the center of attention and is completely incapable of waiting till one conversation is over to interrupt and put the spotlight on them. So they cut in with a doozy like “I got shot once” or “I own McDonald’s.”

I was having a great conversation when someone started brenting, and completely cut me off.

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