collapsed asshole

An asshole who is so into himself that no empathy can escape his douchemosphere

Randal was very upset about his grandmother's passing in that tragic circus fire but, adding insult to injury, his collapsed asshole of a brother Scott wouldn't stop bragging about inheriting more than 200 pounds of oversized shoes, pants, and blouses.

meowcoholic

Having so many cats that it severely hinders ones personal or professional life. If you have more than 10 cats, you could be meowcoholic.

"Did you hear what happened to old lady Peters? Died from meowcoholism."
"I tried to tell her she was meowcoholic. She had more than fiddy cats!"
"Such a shame."